help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
