Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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