I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
