We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
