Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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