He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
