Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
