That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
