no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
