Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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