Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I would fuck him just for his dog
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
