i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
