Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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