i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
