I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
