I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Barsexuality is the new black.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
