She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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