Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I bet he comes in French.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
They are going to name an STD after you.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
