Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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