just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
