hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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