i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize