Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize