If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
