Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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