I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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