Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Less talking, more tequila
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
