I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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