if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
