ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
