He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
