my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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