Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
