Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
