ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
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I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
