i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize