we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I will pee on everything he values.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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