People in love make me want to vomit
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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