so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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