I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
