I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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