Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
