my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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