I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
