i barfeds in our rink
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
