i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
