it hurts more in the daytime
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
