were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
only you would photoshop your dick
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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