What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
