Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
