Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
My cat gives me a boner
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
