I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
