I'm so fucking centered right now
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
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