why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
