goodnight i made you a song goodbye
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
