YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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