he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
