well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
