East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
