I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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