Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize