I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
