Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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