I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
