she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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