So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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