you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
