you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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