You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
