forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
