I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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